operaghost94

I like it. :) I'm glad she's not angry... :P :) Can't wait to read more!

One thing...

"practically killed her soul to realize he has put her out of mind". (Change the HAS to HAD [everything else is past-tense, this should be too] and add the word HIM in front of 'mind' [so that it'd be like: put her out of his mind])

I ythink that's the only thing I saw... But, I really like it! :)

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And thus, she stands there. Watching, waiting, and hoping that she will not have to betray her Angel of Music.

Ange de Musique

Great job, PJ! :) You already have my notes, so I won't post them again here. :D I love how you're developing the character of Melonie.

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Hidden Silk

Thanks so much you guys. I really need encouragement. I personally think that is the worst chapter, but I can't really have anything happen other than that because that's not how it works in my mind. I hope the characters are clear in their motives. Gosh! Writing is hard!

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operaghost94

I agree. Writing is hard! :) I only know that because I'm writing a short story (does 50 something pages count as short?) about Star Wars. All my friends are the main characters. It's really hard, because my deadline for writing it is the end of this month. Almost done with it, thank goodness. :)

I really like it, and yes, I can understand the character's motives.

Can't wait for the next one! <3

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And thus, she stands there. Watching, waiting, and hoping that she will not have to betray her Angel of Music.

death_shadows

i want the rest to read. : |

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*In every shadow there is light, in every tear a smile. In death I know there still is life that lingers for awhile.*

♥I felt myself shrinking before your gaze. I was once again that little girl, sitting in terror, not knowing what was to come. I can't help but stare into those sad, masked eyes. Everything about you mystifies me, and yet, I feel as though I could never be closer. Still staring into your eyes, I reach out and take your hand. Why is it that they look so frightened? Will you deny me? Your gaze seems to grow stronger with each passing second. Suddenly, I no longer have any thoughts, just movement I no longer control. My lips move closer to your masked face. I must show you love...my love. My lips soon press against yours, pure ecstasy overcomes me. I do not care that behind your mask there lay a corpse. I do not care... I only feel... and what I feel for you... is love. ♥

●I am but a mere black rose....I am but the shadow that cloaks the night, forever bond to darkness...yet am I really such a fright?●

Hidden Silk

I still have no gotten to writing the next chapter...:( I will think about it and I'm still trying to think what I am going to write...hehe it's really complicated to explain my dilemma because there's none.

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phantom's_rose

Brava, dear. Bravabravabravissima. (:

That was lovely! There were a few gramatical errors here and there, and as Rachel pointed out, a few tense issues, but otherwise it was loverly. (: I loved Erik's perspective on love!! GREAT similie.

Cheers!

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I'll never let this go, but I can't find the words to tell you

I don't want to be alone, but now I feel like I don't know you
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I've got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on

~Banners by Tianna, Chrissy, Mark, and Jasmine~1 of 4 Proud Spouses to Viktoria!~Special thanks to Halyley W. and Stephan C.~

operaghost94

*Time is tickin' away! Tick-tick-tickin' away!** :)

Just kidding. :)

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And thus, she stands there. Watching, waiting, and hoping that she will not have to betray her Angel of Music.

death_shadows

tick....tock. tick...tock. tick...tock...tick tock....tick tock tick tock ticktocktictocktictock.
haha...but seriously....I want more to read. D:

---

*In every shadow there is light, in every tear a smile. In death I know there still is life that lingers for awhile.*

♥I felt myself shrinking before your gaze. I was once again that little girl, sitting in terror, not knowing what was to come. I can't help but stare into those sad, masked eyes. Everything about you mystifies me, and yet, I feel as though I could never be closer. Still staring into your eyes, I reach out and take your hand. Why is it that they look so frightened? Will you deny me? Your gaze seems to grow stronger with each passing second. Suddenly, I no longer have any thoughts, just movement I no longer control. My lips move closer to your masked face. I must show you love...my love. My lips soon press against yours, pure ecstasy overcomes me. I do not care that behind your mask there lay a corpse. I do not care... I only feel... and what I feel for you... is love. ♥

●I am but a mere black rose....I am but the shadow that cloaks the night, forever bond to darkness...yet am I really such a fright?●